"In her brilliant book Truth or Dare, the poet, philosopher-feminist Starhawk, explores the emerging feminine voice and its language of feeling after two thousand years of authoritarian patriarchy, as well as the terrors that needed to be faced and conquered after generations of silence and isolation.  In the Chapter "Finding a Voice: Breaking the Censor's Silence” Starhawk writes, "The powerful weapon of the Censor is to deny actual events and paralyze us so eventually we forget or repress what happens." [i] The resulting loss is immeasurable, especially when the censor has been internalized as it has been in traditional cultures. If we are never told about an ancestor, who may have broken with convention, or broken the rules or laws of their time, or as in the case of Unto the Daughters been murdered by her brothers, we are denied a greater understanding of ourselves and our true history. 

Families share patterns, but when we are kept from the truth of our family patterns, as a result of repression, shame and authoritarian rule, we subtly internalize a self hate and a tendency to perpetuate the same. "To be silenced is to be kept isolated...Breaking our silence releases us. When others know the worst about us, and accept us, we can believe we are truly valued. "[ii] Truth or Dare

Karen Tintori dared to search for and reveal the truth of her family’s and her own story in Unto the Daughters, a powerfully written memoir of discovery and recreation of her lost ancestor, Francesca Costa, who was erased from her family’s history after being brutally murdered by her brothers and discarded in the waters off Belle Isle in the Detroit River in 1919. The author, Karen, whose very act of uncovering the truth and publicly sharing it, calls forth the power of story telling to heal our past and ourselves also tells us her own story and struggle, as a Sicilian American daughter and writer, who despite being raised in contemporary America, would lose connection with her disapproving relations."

So begins Louisa Calio's thoughtful, well-researched exploration of scapegoating, secrets, silences in relationship to the book of my heart, the story of my great-aunt Francesca, a woman who had been lost to history -- a scapegoat. I invite you to read the entirety of her insightful and important essay at Louisa Calio LinkedIn. She has much to share.

I am deeply honored by Louisa's conclusion to her thoughtful and well-researched essay:

"By Tintori’s courageous act of commitment to recreate Frances’ tale, we witness a movement from power over and its denial to reconciliation and more space for honesty in our Italian American community and an ever expanding body of work upon which we can all stand.

Lucia Chiavola Birnbaum in her book, The Future has an Ancient Heart, writes “in forming this story has been my hope that in trying to tell or write a truthful story in a world manipulated into violence by untruths, I am working toward a more equal and therefore more just world.” 

I believe Unto the Daughters has achieved this."

Louisa and I met fourteen years ago when she introduced herself after my Unto the Daughters reading at the John D. Calandra Italian American Institute in New York City. Of her many award-winning works, my favorite still remains her memoir in poetry, Journey to the Heartwaters. You can purchase this memorable and evocative book by clicking here.

 Louisa Calio-- poet, writer, performer, photo artist